Nov 4, 2022


Can I touch you? If you are here, and reading this, it may be safe to assume that you desperately need some compassionate touch in your life.

We are wired to connect with other people on a basic physical level, so the need for touch is biological and nothing to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, over the course of a relationship, the frequency of touch can wane or completely disappear leaving one partner longing for that validation and connection.

Touch is a crucial ingredient in our physical and emotional well-being.

Holding hands, intentional hugs, a soft loving caress on your arm are examples of non-sexual touch that are vital to our mental health. Maybe you think that the sexual touch is the only type of touch you are missing in your life. You crave the passion of deep sensual kisses, and the heat and pressure that two in sync and intertwined bodies can create, but much like our need for intimacy is diverse and reaches well beyond the sexual realm, having adequate and varied types of touch is also important to our overall physical health and emotional equilibrium.

We underestimate the importance of non-sexual touch. It can be soothing and symbolize trust and safety.  Basic warm touch can calm cardiovascular stress and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Affection and physical contact boost oxytocin levels which increases our levels of happiness. Who doesn’t want to be happier?

For my sports followers, a study in the journal Emotion, showed that in the NBA, teams with players who touched each other more won more games. If touch is important for elite athletes, I think it would be silly to not have adequate amounts of touch in our lives. Like the effects on the NBA athletes, touch and physical connection invigorate us so we can perform at our peak by lowering our levels of anxiety and increasing our ability to focus.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where men are not allowed to express their need for touch outside of sexual situations. Many men have yet to experience the emotional release that can happen through consistent and intentional non-physical touch.

Short of groping people that you meet (which I would NOT recommend doing), to fill the intrinsic biological need of human touch, finding a space where you can get the touch that you need is an option.

I would love to keep that space for you. If you would like to schedule your much needed touch session, you can contact me here. A big, warm, intentional hug is waiting.